Merch School
Stop guessing what buyers want. Learn from someone who was the buyer.
15 years. $4B in decisions. This is the exact framework I used to say yes to brands at Costco and Amazon. And what I use now as CCO to get brands into Target and Erewhon.
Retail feels like a black box because no one's shown you what's inside.
“I don’t know the process.” “I don’t know who to talk to.” “I don’t know what they need from me.”
Retail isn't rocket science. It's sales psychology with spreadsheets.
The problem? Most advice is vague. "Build relationships." "Tell your story." "Be persistent."
Cool. And then what?
Merch School gives you the sequence. What to do, what to say, what to send. In order.
No more guessing if your margins are right or your packaging is shelf-ready.
stop guessing. start POSITIONING.
You didn't end up here because you need more motivation.
You ended up here because you're tired of guessing.
Tired of pitching into the void. Tired of watching brands with worse products land shelf space while you're still trying to figure out who to email.
Merch School doesn't teach you to hope harder. It teaches you to position smarter.
You'll know the rules buyers play by. You'll pitch like a partner, not a supplicant. You'll build confidence with margins that work and operations that scale.
This isn't about manifestation. It's about positioning your brand so clearly that buyers look for you.
And when they do, you'll be ready.
In 15 years as a Fortune 50 buyer, I evaluated 1,000s of brands.
Fewer than 1% made the shelf.
The winners didn't always have the best product. They had the clearest retail strategy. They spoke the language. They positioned themselves as solutions, not pitches. Merch School shows you how to do exactly that. Step by step. Module by module. Zero fluff.
"Kristin brought my dream back to life. She gave me clarity, direction, and a whole new sense of motivation. I’ve never felt more confident or excited about my brand. That’s the power of having the right program, the right mentor, and a team that actually gets it. I just wish I had found her sooner."
Dr. Yeral Patel, MD
WHAT YOU GET INSIDE
Merch School™
What it took me 15 years to learn. You'll get in 90 days.
The Language
The exact codes buyers use to evaluate brands. Not theory. Not tips. The actual framework I used to say yes to multimillion-dollar launches (and pass on seven-figure brands) in under three minutes.
The Access
Scripts that get responses. Checklists that remove guesswork. Margin models buyers actually check. The tools insiders use—now yours.
The Advantage
Lifetime access to the playbook. Return before every pitch, every test set, every national rollout. This isn't a course you finish. It's a resource you keep.
WHAT'S INSIDE:
From pitch to placement.
Module 1
Inside the Buyer's Mind
What keeps them up at night. What makes them say yes in three minutes. What makes them ghost 99% of pitches. Learn the language so you're treated like a partner, not a vendor.
Module 2
Brand Positioning
Become the white-space solution, not vendor #487. Map your brand to retailer strategy. Make your emails impossible to ignore.
Module 3
Relationships That Convert
Retail's real currency isn't pitches. It's relationships. Turn casual conversations into purchase orders. Stay on their radar without being that vendor.
Module 4
Financial Foundations
Margins, price architecture, payment terms, promo math—the way buyers expect to see them. Build confidence you can deliver at scale without sinking your cash flow.
Module 5
Product
Readiness
Packaging. Quality standards. Compliance. The in-store proof points that reduce buyer risk. Make your product shelf-ready before the meeting.
Module 6
The Pitch
Pitch psychology: what makes buyers lean in versus zone out. The Story-Proof-Scale Method. How to adapt for emails, decks, and in-person presentations. Read the room. Pivot in real time.
Module 7
Fulfillment That Builds Trust
Inventory systems buyers trust. Retailer fulfillment preferences decoded. Tracking that actually works. Plan for returns, overstock, exits. Turn sales data into strategy.
Module 8
Contract Literacy
The most common retail agreements. Legal jargon translated. The clauses that can make or break your business. Know what you're signing before you sign it.
What changes...
When you know the codes
Your inbox gets interesting. Buyers respond with "let's schedule a call" instead of "we'll keep you on file."
Pitch meetings feel different. You walk in knowing exactly what they need to hear. You leave with actual next steps.
The math works. You understand the margin reality. You plan for 60-day payment terms without panic.
You stop second-guessing. The pitch deck is right. The follow-up is timed perfectly. The roadmap is clear.
You're ready.
Choose your path.
One payment or two. Either way, lifetime access.
plus
Three tools you'll actually use.
Bonus #1
Retail Alignment Worksheet
Position your brand as the missing piece in the buyer's strategy. Map how your product helps them hit quarterly targets. Turn your product from optional SKU to category essential.
Bonus #2
Retail Visuals Checklist
The framework for packaging that passes buyer scrutiny. Capture attention in three seconds. Ace quality control and compliance questions. Includes sustainability and price-value checks buyers expect answers for.
Bonus #3
Margin Map Tool
End the margin guesswork. Plug in all cost components (ingredients, packaging, freight) and see your wholesale cost per unit instantly. Test different MOQs. Watch margins shift with quantity changes.
who built this
I was the buyer.
15 years in Fortune 50 buying offices. Over $4B in retail programs at Costco and Amazon. I greenlit multimillion-dollar launches and passed on seven-figure brands in under three minutes.
While you were wondering how to get past the gatekeepers, I was the gatekeeper.
Now I'm CCO who's launched in Target and Erewhon (yes, that Erewhon) in under six months. I'm in active conversations with every major retail player you're thinking of.
So yeah. I know retail.
I started in the sample closet. Worked my way to $4B in decisions.
I've seen brilliant products fail and mediocre ones soar. The difference was never the product. It was the positioning. The language. The understanding of what buyers actually evaluate.
Merch School is two decades of insider knowledge. The stuff they'd never tell you at trade shows. The real playbook.
No theory. ZERO fluff. Just the codes.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU JOIN MERCH SCHOOL™
You learn the language.
1. get access
Immediate access to the framework. The exact system Fortune 50 buyers use to evaluate brands. What makes them say yes in three minutes.
2. learn the codes
Buyer psychology. Pitch materials that make them stop. Emails they actually respond to. How to position your brand as their solution.
3. apply it
Buyers respond. Meetings turn into opportunities. Your products find shelf space. You become the partner retailers want to work with.
The gurantee
14 Days. Full refund.
Take two weeks. Go through the modules. If it doesn't give you the roadmap, email for a full refund. Simple.
This is for you if:
- You’re done with vague advice and want the roadmap
- You want buyers to take you seriously
- You value speed and strategy over hope and waiting
This isn't for you if:
- You think viral moments replace business strategy.
- You're hunting for the magic email template that guarantees Sephora.
- You'd rather complain about gatekeepers than learn to open doors.
You've done the work. Now get the shelf space.
You didn't build this brand to collect polite rejections. The ghosted emails and "we'll circle back" responses end when you learn the language buyers actually speak.
There's a path. You just haven't had access to it yet.
Frequently Asked Questions
HOW QUICKLY WILL I SEE RESULTS?
How much time will Merch School take?
WHAT IF I'M NOT READY TO PITCH YET?
Do you guarantee I'll get into retail?
I ALREADY HAVE A PITCH DECK. WHY DO I NEED THIS?
What's your refund policy?
IS THIS SPECIFIC TO MY CATEGORY?
DO YOU PROVIDE ACTUAL BUYER CONTACTS?
Here's the truth
Global retail is projected to hit $32.8T in 2026.
And most founders still think there's no room at the table.
There is. You just don't know how to get the seat yet.
I've watched brilliant products die in garages because founders couldn't crack the code. Not because the product wasn't good enough. Because they didn't speak the language.
Some spent 15 years learning it. You get it here.
Your brand deserves shelf space. The world deserves access to what you've created.
That's why this exists.
Stop guessing. Start executing.
Merch School turns "I don't know" into a clear plan.
"Before this course, the idea of pitching to big retailers felt completely out of reach. Now, I actually feel prepared - and confident. Kristin breaks it all down in a way that makes sense and gives you the tools to show up like a pro. I finally understand what buyers are looking for and how to position my brand in a way that stands out. This course is a game-changer."
